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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698445">The Night of Abandonment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicdoses/pseuds/magicdoses'>magicdoses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Black Family Drama (Harry Potter), Black Family Madness (Harry Potter), Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, James Potter is a Good Friend, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pureblood Politics (Harry Potter), Pureblood Society (Harry Potter), Regulus Black Deserves Better, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, Wizarding Wars (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:06:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicdoses/pseuds/magicdoses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving the most ancient and noble house of Black was one of the best and worst decisions Sirius Black had ever made. He sought the love he had secretly longed for in the warm household of his best friend, James Potter, and found it there successfully as he hoped––but it came at a price. And that price didn’t involve just getting wiped off the family tree of the Blacks, or getting cursed by them at every one of their ill gatherings. It was something he had never expected, something which was most certainly higher than what he would ever have been able to pay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Orion Black &amp; Regulus Black, Orion Black &amp; Sirius Black, Regulus Black &amp; Sirius Black, Regulus Black &amp; Walburga Black, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Walburga Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Night of Abandonment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> “GRYFFINDOR!” </em> Walburga’s voice came out in the form of a roar. She slammed the door of her oldest son’s bedroom wide open and it collided with the wall, causing a loud thud. It rang in the atmosphere, but didn’t have an effect on Sirius Black. He was too used to his mother’s ill treatment to get fazed by her sudden outbursts. Gritting on her teeth, Walburga looked back and forth between him and the decorations fulfilling the place — a mixture of red and gold banners, pictures of the Marauders and a variety of bold Muggle magazines such as the one Sirius was now holding. The front cover consisted of Muggle girls clad in pink bikinis.<br/>
<br/>
“My dear mother. . .” Sirius began, mocking his mother. It wasn’t a secret that Sirius detested her as much as she detested him, but he didn’t often show his hate with the use of anger like how she did. Lowering his magazine, he gazed at her with an amused smile. “Gryffindor is the House I belong to and have, therefore, brought endless shame to the Blacks because of. There’s no need for the dramatic entrance, for I’m about to enter my sixth year at Hogwarts, so it’s not as if the Sorting Hat has just placed me in this House. Yelling these truths out of nowhere is kind of growing old, don’t you think?”<br/>
<br/>
Walburga’s face reddened even more. Sirius was once again making fun of his mother; he didn’t have a single bit of regret in his heart for not turning out to be in Slytherin. He wasn’t the same as his relatives at all, including his brother who had just entered the bedroom at the sound of his mother’s shouts. Sirius was keen on shamelessly showing his difference from his family. Regulus stood behind Walburga and watched his mother and brother in silence, knowing well enough that one of their heated fights was going to erupt in any passing moment. They all often happened because of the never – ending stubbornness his older brother possessed.<br/>
<br/>
“You — ” Walburga inhaled a deep breath. When she exhaled, it was as if she was exhaling fire instead of air. “The disgrace you have become — is <em> beyond </em> unbelievable! Have we taught you nothing at all?”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius opened his mouth to answer with a blunt ‘no,’ but his mother didn’t give him the chance to respond with another sarcastic remark. She went on furiously. “You’ve allowed yourself to be poisoned by those — those Mudbloods and blood traitors! And you have come here, to the most ancient and noble house of Black, to spread that poison!”<br/>
<br/>
Walburga pointed at the walls of the room Sirius owned, their true green and silver colors were hidden beneath the various posters he covered them with for that exact purpose.<br/>
<br/>
“You’ve been dying rather oddly for me to visit James all summer.” Sirius looked at the moving picture of his best friend on the wall. James Potter was dressed in full black, with one of his hands pushing his restless curls off his forehead and the other waving at Walburga. He effortlessly resembled the attractive models who were often found on the front covers of Muggle magazines. Sirius and James would make a fortune if the two of them pursued a career like that in the non – magical world .<br/>
<br/>
“Yet it turns out that you have wanted me to get out of the house in any possible way even if it means visiting James, whom you surprisingly loathe in spite of the fact that he is a pure – blood wizard, to pull my Gryffindor banners off,” said Sirius, flashing out one of his infamous smirks. “I assume that you have failed in doing so because I have also failed in mentioning to you how I got an ‘Outstanding’ for Charms in my O.W.L.s. A brilliant Permanent Sticking Charm I have there, is it not?”<br/>
<br/>
Before Walburga could open her mouth to insult Sirius, Orion Black walked into the room. He was wearing a supposedly unreadable expression on his face, one that hid underneath it more anger than the one his wife felt. His posture was straight and both of his hands were clasped behind his back. He walked past Regulus, heading to where Sirius was standing. Orion was hovering over his son with a sense of authority which made Sirius’s confidence quiver to some extent, but he didn’t dare to let it show.<br/>
<br/>
“You are quite proud of the fact that you are a stain in this family’s legacy, I see.” Orion looked disgusted, and his voice sounded the same. “Being a rebel makes you feel important, doesn’t it? You pretend to be the same as those foolish friends of yours, thinking that you actually belong. What a lie that is! You even seek their love because Walburga and I have rightfully given you none. You never deserved it, you never deserved anything at all, including the title you bear.” </p><p>Although what Orion said wasn’t breaking news to Sirius in the slightest bit, he was still thunderstruck. To be stripped of his defenses like that made him feel vulnerable and exposed—the last two things he had ever wanted to show in the presence of his wicked parents. Sirius Black knew that neither of them had even a single ounce of love for him. It was quite obvious from his fighting matches with his mother and the endless beatings from his father. Words had a different sting, however. It was much more powerful than he ever thought it to be.<br/>
<br/>
The slight shift in Sirius’s composed expression caught Walburga’s attention. He was beginning to crack, to feel the hurt she wanted to cause him. Her anger was starting to vanish and to be replaced with deep satisfaction. How could a parent be satisfied because their child was in pain?<br/>
<br/>
“My friends accept me as I’m and I belong to them, not to you—and that terrifies you, doesn’t it? The heir of the Blacks siding with their enemies?” Sirius said, an edge was floating higher than sarcasm in his voice. He was regaining his composure. Therefore, Walburga was regaining her rage.<br/>
<br/>
“You dare use that against us?” Walburga shrieked, now approaching Sirius even more. He didn’t take steps backwards, but held his head high. “Instead of setting a proper example as the heir of the Blacks for Regulus! And for whom? For these—”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius cut her off before she could insult those he had found true love and deep comfort among, those who had never judged him or tore his heart into a thousand pieces without giving a single care about how he felt. Feelings didn’t matter to the Blacks, but control and reputation did. And Sirius was undoubtedly swirling out of their control and shattering their reputation into a thousand, unrepairable shreds. “These wonderful people know what’s right and stand for it without showing a flicker of cowardice which is something that most certainly cannot be said for any Black, except for Andromeda! You are all followers!”<br/>
<br/>
“YOU WANT TO FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF A BLOOD TRAITOR LIKE THAT, YOU UNGRATEFUL PRAT! THE SHAME! THE SHAME!” Walburga’s screams were as loud as if she was a banshee. Sirius felt as if his eardrums were bleeding.<br/>
<br/>
Mentioning Andromeda was a redline most of the time, if not all. Sirius should’ve been wiser, but he was so full of rage and bitterness that he spat the truth in his parents’ faces with a burning passion for goodness. Orion stepped forward in a blink of an eye, grabbing Sirius’s arm in a harsh manner. Sirius felt like laughing out loud. His father must be <em>that </em>thick if he thought that another beating would change his son’s beliefs. Sirius could still feel the bruises beneath his shirt unhealed, the purple and blue marks still aching—but it didn’t matter at all. There was nothing worse his parents could do to him.<br/>
<br/>
Or was there?<br/>
<br/>
The force of Orion’s push was as hard as Sirius expected it to be. His back was slammed into the wall behind him and the pain spread through his bones instantly. When Orion’s fist was about to hit Sirius’s face, it was his wife who stopped him—but it wasn’t out of motherly love. Sirius knew her all too well to even consider the possibility. If it was up to Walburga, he would be erased from the life of the Blacks. While her older son suspected what was going to happen in any passing moment and cursed himself for leaving his wand across his bedroom, the younger one was quite certain of what was to come.<br/>
<br/>
<em>“Cru</em>—”<br/>
<br/>
“Mother, no!” Regulus yelled at the top of his lungs as he threw himself in front of Sirius before Walburga could perform the Cruciatus Curse on her own flesh and blood. Walburga stopped medway. She would never hurt Regulus. Orion didn’t seem concerned about what his wife was intending to do to one of their sons. In fact, he approved of her decision. “I know he’s irrational and irresponsible, but I beg of you not to do it!”<br/>
<br/>
“This is how we punish rebels who live under our roof and are entitled to our name! Move aside, Regulus. We would love to see how courageous that disgrace of ours will be under the effect of a Dark curse!” Orion supported his wife openly, now standing right beside her as the two of them cornered Sirius. His voice wasn’t loud. It was still cold, but currently filled with an unbelievably terrible desire to watch Walburga as she used that insane punishment on their oldest son, hoping that it’d bring back his long lost sanity.<br/>
<br/>
Regulus didn’t do as told. Walburga screamed again. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE CHIVALROUS WITH A PIECE OF SCUM LIKE THAT! IT’S NOT AS IF WE ARE GOING TO KILL HIM! WE WILL JUST TEACH HIM THE LESSON CIVILISED METHODS HAVE FAILED TO DO SO! HE LEFT US NO OTHER CHOICE, THAT FILTHY BLOOD TRAITOR!”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius, whose blood was boiling in his veins to the highest of degrees, tried to push Regulus aside. Regulus gave him a murderous look and remained as still as stone in his position, refusing to quiver. Sirius’s face was red, his hands were curled into tight fists and his chest was heaving up and down. He attempted to face his mother’s utter madness on his own once more, but his younger brother held his ground. No one should suffer for his sake. “YOU OLD H—”<br/>
<br/>
Regulus stepped on Sirius’s foot, silencing him. He knew in the same instant that his older brother was never going to learn when to quit. Regulus thought Sirius was going to recklessly attempt to insult their parents again, but he kept his mouth shut when Walburga pressed her wand into Regulus’s chest. Sirius was well aware that her move was nothing more than an empty threat. Walburga would never hurt the better son, the family’s <em>grace</em>—but he didn’t dare to risk it. No one should suffer for his sake. No one should bear the consequences of his rebellion other than him.<br/>
<br/>
“He indeed had left you no other choice,” said Regulus, swallowing hard. The tip of his mother’s wand was still digging into his skin. “But I beg you to give <em>me </em>a chance to bring him back to his senses, to erase that Gryffindor sc—poison from his head.”<br/>
<br/>
Regulus knew he was walking on thin glass. If he had insulted the Gryffindors directly, Sirius would’ve snapped. And if he hadn’t shown disgust towards them, his parents would have been the ones to explode.<br/>
<br/>
“Regulus, there is no doubt that you are the heart of this family, but there’s nothing you can do for him more than what we have already done,” Orion said, his voice was now filled with a rare kind of care. He wouldn’t hurt Regulus, either physically or even emotionally. No one in that room was ever going to cause Regulus harm.<br/>
<br/>
“One attempt is all I’m asking for, <em>please</em>. Allow me to have a word with him, and he will come out of this room with a thousand apologies for his arrogance. If he doesn’t, I won’t interfere with his punishment at all. You—You can even punish me with him for standing up for his actions as I’m doing now. I will deserve it then.”<br/>
<br/>
Walburga lowered her wand gradually until it was no longer dangerously directed at either of her sons. She gave Sirius a total disgusted glance and Regulus an extremely challenging one.<br/>
<br/>
She was certain that Regulus’s attempts were going to be in vain, but she was going to give him a chance whatsoever. Walburga wanted Regulus to understand her actions when she would fire the torture curse at his brother. She was sure he would, he always did. Regulus’s mold was the exact opposite of his brother’s.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius was too reckless, too impulsive, too rebellious—a star so full of brightness, one which shimmered hard enough to blind all. Regulus was too cautious, too calm, too obedient—a star so full of steadiness, its light composed and bearable to look at.<br/>
<br/>
Regulus felt as if he could breathe again when his parents left his brother’s bedroom. He hurried to close the door behind them and leaned against it. Silence flew between the Black brothers, one that was both terrible and long. Sirius could feel the tension viberating in the air to his bones.<br/>
<br/>
“Regulus—” Sirius began, his voice was unexpectedly soft. There was still anger coursing through his veins, but he didn’t dare to even think of directing it at his younger brother. Regulus’s act of chivalry was undoubtedly fresh, one that would surely never be forgotten. Sirius, just like Walburga and Orion, never saw it coming. Regulus didn’t stand up for him in the countless, heated arguments he had had with their parents before, so what changed his mind now? Did Regulus Black finally decide to step into the light his parents were blocking him from seeing?<br/>
<br/>
“You—You shouldn’t have done that!” said Sirius, shaking his head with a pained expression on his face. Still laced with care, his voice grew firm as he went on. “You could have been cursed instead of me! I don’t have the strength of watching you under the great pain of a Dark Curse! And for whom? Me!”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius pointed one of his hands at himself in disbelief. He approached Regulus, with the same hand now outstretched towards him. “I’m the older sibling, Regulus! I’m supposed to protect you, not for it to be the other way around!”<br/>
<br/>
The feeling of Sirius’s touch on Regulus’s shoulder didn’t linger. Regulus grabbed his brother’s wrist and pushed him backwards. Sirius stumbled for a moment before he regained his balance. Was Regulus mad at him?<br/>
<br/>
“We both know that mother wouldn’t have cursed me,” replied Regulus, his voice was unmistakably void of warm emotions. It was filled with a type of dangerous coldness which was threatening to melt into flames. It sent an odd shiver down Sirius’s spine. “I don’t drive her to the brink of madness like how you do!”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t—I don’t understand. . .” Sirius’s confusion was reflected in his tone.<br/>
<br/>
“Of course you don’t!” Regulus scoffed, confusing his older brother even more. “You never understood the consequences of those awful acts of yours! You think of them as funny, as rebellious even as father said! The glory does make you feel important, doesn’t it? You love being the talk of the town! This—” he looked at the wallpapers of Sirius’s bedroom and at Sirius himself, afterwards. “—is a bloody scandal, Sirius!”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius Black didn’t expect that blow. He expected it from his parents who had never in their entire lives hesitated to show their never–ending hatred for him, but it felt quite different coming from Regulus. It was impossible; it didn’t make sense at all. How on earth was Regulus prepared to sacrifice himself in one moment to protect Sirius from the knife and in the next he was the person pressing it into his chest?<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t make a fool out of yourself more than that by thinking that I’m on your side, brother.” Regulus was making his views quite plain. “I still agree with our parents. We do come from a pure bloodline that shouldn’t be stained! It <em>is </em>an honor others would kill for! You keep failing over and over again at realising the importance of! And it—”<br/>
<br/>
Regulus paused, his chest heaving up and down. Sirius felt as if he would rather be deaf than to have to hear this. “It does what, Regulus?”<br/>
<br/>
“It <em>breaks </em>me and it does the same to mother and father. Yet—Yet I’m still so weak, still so vulnerable. I don’t have it in me to stand by and watch you suffer from a type of pain I know is indescribable. If you don’t walk out of this bedroom and apologise, you will <em>truly </em>deserve it, however.” Regulus began.<br/>
<br/>
“You need to redeem yourself, Sirius!” He went on. “And the first step towards achieving that is to ask for forgiveness from our parents. Then you ought to bring down these banners and to cut ties with these poisonous friends of yours! One of them is a blood traitor, the other is useless and the third has more rumors than I can count flying around him! This isn’t the kind of people a Black must be surrounded with!”<br/>
<br/>
“Redeem myself?” Sirius spat. This was never going to stop. The Blacks were going to be obsessed with their beliefs until the end of time. “I’m not the one who is in need of redemption, Regulus! Mother and father are! And you will need it if you continue to walk in their damned footsteps! I’m not the poison in this house at all! They are the serpents which produce it and feed it to you and I fear that you are on the brink of death because of it. . .”<br/>
<br/>
“You are a lost cause, aren’t you?” Regulus took a few steps backwards from Sirius as if he felt disgusted by being close to him. The distance between them was expanding beyond the borders of the floor in Sirius’s bedroom. “I give you a one last chance to make amends with our parents by risking my own safety and you throw it away as if it means nothing!”<br/>
<br/>
“Regulus—”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius was immediately cut off by his brother who didn’t bear to hear more of his nonsense. Regulus couldn’t believe that the same person who was standing right in front of him came from the same blood and flesh as his. How Sirius turned out to be quite different from the Blacks was the greatest riddle in Regulus’s whole life. The one he failed to solve in spite of his intelligence.<br/>
<br/>
Another riddle was how he didn’t feel as if he was loved by his parents. To be fair to them, he wasn’t treated half as badly as Sirius was. Regulus was often praised and called the better son for what seemed like forever. Walburga and Orion’s love didn’t feel like the one Sirius gave him. He couldn’t explain the reason behind that. Could it be that Sirius’s love burned a hundred times fiercer than theirs despite his sins? Was that the kind of love Regulus Black wanted the most to feel?<br/>
<br/>
It was the biggest secret he ever had and he wasn’t going to speak it out loud to any living soul—let alone to Sirius’s. If he were to do that, he would discredit the kindness his parents showed him. He would be as ungrateful as his brother. To hell with love and its complicated forms if it meant betraying the trust of Walburga and Orion.<br/>
<br/>
“I might have stopped mother from cursing you this time, but there isn’t a guarantee that I will be able to do that again. I might not be there to protect you, or I might be. And if I’m to be present in that moment which I’m certain I won’t be able to forgive myself for, you will have left me no other choice then. It will be for the best, brother. And I will deeply hope that when it will all be over, when your screams will no longer be heard and your agony will no longer be unbearable, you will be finally back to your senses,” said Regulus. “But not before causing me a kind of pain which will scar me for a lifetime.”<br/>
<br/>
The impact of Regulus’s threats on Sirius made him realise that there was no other method of surviving this hellhole except the one he had been avoiding for a while now because of false hopes.  He felt his heart coiling painfully in his chest at the image forming in his mind—him being under the agonizing effect of the Cruciatus Curse while his parents and brother watched in silence, in <em>enjoyment </em>even.  Didn’t his existence matter to any of them at all? Didn’t it matter to anyone except the Marauders? What if he hadn’t crossed paths with the friends he had? Would he have lived in constant loneliness because his family viewed him as an abomination?<br/>
<br/>
“Then I will have to spare you the pain, Reg,” said Sirius, swallowing hard. One of his hands started to tremble, but he hid it behind his back, concealing his own hurt. No one in that house deserved to know what he was going through, not even Regulus. He was too much of a follower to think for himself.<br/>
<br/>
“You will?” asked Regulus hopefully. Had he finally succeeded in persuading Sirius to let go of his shameful beliefs?<br/>
<br/>
“Yes.” Sirius nodded after making up his mind for once and for all. There wasn’t another solution left. He had run out of options. “I can’t bear to scar you for a lifetime, Reggie.”<br/>
<br/>
Regulus felt as if he would burst into tears in any passing moment. The happiness which arose because of Sirius’s words shadowed his vision. He couldn’t think straight. If Regulus had been able to do so, he would have realized that it was impossible for Sirius to change his mind in a split second. He wouldn’t let go of his best friends, of his Hogwarts House and of his stern beliefs about what was right and what was wrong as easily as what had just supposedly happened.<br/>
<br/>
Unexpectedly, Regulus walked across the bedroom and pulled Sirius into the tightest of embraces. Sirius could feel his younger brother’s relief in his hold. He thought Sirius wouldn’t break more rules, that he would choose the Blacks’ ill form of a right road. He bit down on his bottom lip with enough force to draw out blood in order to stop himself from ruining his own act. <em>It had to be like this, </em>he repeated to himself. <em>There’s nothing more I can do for him, for any of them. . . </em><em><br/>
</em><em><br/>
</em>When Regulus broke their hug, Sirius forced out a smile. “I—I just need some time alone to adjust. Can I have that?”<br/>
<br/>
Regulus nodded with eagerness before he left his brother’s bedroom, thinking that he had won when in reality he had just lost the greatest battle of his entire life.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius wiped his eyes harshly with the sleeves of his black t–shirt when Regulus was out of sight. He had to concentrate on his rage for the time being. He had to allow it to consume him. If he escaped that wicked house with its equally wicked masters, he wouldn’t show emotions which could indicate anything other than pure hatred and anger. Sirius wouldn’t give the Blacks the satisfaction of knowing that they had finally succeeded in breaking him down.<br/>
<br/>
As nightfall approached, his parents and brother didn’t come to see him much to his relief. Walburga and Orion must be waiting for the apologies Regulus told them Sirius would willingly offer. Regulus must be giving Sirius time to adjust as the two of them had agreed. In the last hour, Sirius had been packing his belongings into one large bag with immense determination. In the next sunrise, he would be utterly free. He would rightfully be the complete disgrace his parents thought of him as.<br/>
<br/>
When he was done with packing, he had one more thing left to do before he would abandon the Blacks. He grabbed a piece of parchment, a quill and ink. Afterwards, he began writing a note to calm his conscience down. Now there was nothing more to do.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius slung his bag around his shoulder. Afterwards, he looked at his surroundings for what he was positive was the last time. He stared at his own bedroom, knowing well enough that it was going to be the sole proof left in his absence of how he had once belonged to the Blacks. It was going to prove that he had lived in the same place as them and breathed the same air as theirs. His hands carefully touched the narrow corridors, the ones which were covered in the Slytherin colors he had defied. At last, he arrived at his brother’s bedroom. Everyone was asleep. With a long, deep breath, he slid the note he wrote a couple of minutes ago under Regulus’s door.<br/>
<br/>
Then he ran.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius Black ran as if he had never done before. He inhaled and exhaled air with such force as if his lungs had just begun working for the first time in his life. The Knight Bus found him, sensing that Sirius was a wizard in distress searching for a ride. He didn’t know whether he was terrified because of the insane pace the driver was using or whether he was glad because it was taking him far from the most ancient and noble house of Black as fast as a blink of an eye.<br/>
<br/>
When the next morning came, Regulus woke up on the sound of horrible screams. It was his mother. He rubbed his eyes and pulled the sheets off his bed quickly. When he was about to open the door of his bedroom to check out what was happening, he noticed a piece of parchment lying on the floor. He knelt and picked it up with shaking hands. It had Sirius’s signature on it. Regulus unfolded it and read the simple, but still most heart–wrenching note his older brother had ever given him.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Escape the darkness as I have escaped this house. If you don’t, I greatly fear that it will kill you</em>. <em>And I will be left with no other choice, but to pick up the broken pieces with a shattered heart. Please don’t scar me for a lifetime, Reggie. </em><em><br/>
</em><br/>
Regulus refused to believe what he was reading. He miserably failed at redeeming his brother and he was a complete fool for trusting him. How dare Sirius turn Regulus’s own words against him like that? Didn’t he have a single ounce of remorse in his veins? It all must be a nightmare, a very wicked and painful nightmare. He closed his eyes and squeezed the note in his hand. When he reopened them again, he knew that he was stuck in reality. The piece of parchment was once again lying on the floor, completely crunched this time. Walburga was still screaming. A sound of what seemed like a bomb being activated filled rang in the atmosphere.<br/>
<br/>
The now heir of the Blacks sprung out of his bedroom and went to where his mother was standing. She had her wand raised, still directly pointed at where Sirius’s name on the family tree had used to be. It was now erased from it.<br/>
<br/>
He was erased from their life for good.<br/>
<br/>
James Potter was wandering outside of his house mindlessly, thinking about different things he had to do. One of them involved finding a successful method to charm Lily Evans, the other was about inventing new Quidditch strategies to use next year and the third was of his best friend, Sirius Black. He must be suffering all summer because of how wicked his parents were.<br/>
<br/>
As if on cue, James noticed a very familiar figure approaching his house. He knew who it was at first sight.<br/>
<br/>
Without wasting another moment, James ran to where Sirius was stumbling. All of his previous thoughts had vanished in a split second except for the one which concerned his best friend. Sirius’s state was hard to decipher. When James reached him, he scanned him for any kind of small or major injuries, but there was none, so why in the name of Merlin couldn’t Sirius Black who always walked with confidence and strength carry himself?<br/>
<br/>
“Padfoot?” James’s voice was soft and full of concern. He pulled Sirius into his strong arms, hugging him with enough force to steady his body and enough love to mend what had broken in his heart—because right in that moment, James Potter was sure that someone had viciously torn Sirius’s heart. The injury wasn’t physical. “What is it? What happened?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m done with their lot, Prongs.” Sirius’s voice might have been low, but the loathing was quite clear in it. James understood who his best friend was talking about without further explanations. There were tears running down Sirius’s cheeks. He didn’t think of hiding them, for there wasn’t a point in doing that. He wasn’t collapsing in front of a stranger. He was with James and James was his true family. It wounded James to see Sirius as hurt as he was now. What had his foul, heartless parents done to him? The Sirius Black he knew faced his problems with either bitter sarcasm or blinding anger. He cried very rarely.<br/>
<br/>
“Mother tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on me. Father didn’t mind. He thought I deserved it. Regulus—” Sirius cried even harder right now. “Regulus stopped them from harming me and I thought he was on my side. I <em>really </em>did<em>, </em>James.”<br/>
<br/>
“He wasn’t?” James asked, sounding careful in spite of the fact that he was boiling from the inside out. To hell with the Blacks.<br/>
<br/>
“No, he wasn’t! He thought he would give me a single chance to <em>redeem </em>myself! If I didn’t take it, he would stand and watch me suffer. The three of them would, so I—I left,” Sirius answered, sounding more sorrowful than James had never heard him before.<br/>
<br/>
James Potter wanted to take his broomstick and fly as fast as ever to the Black Manor. He knew a few spells that would make those who wounded his friend suffer a great deal of pain, but he didn’t want to earn a ticket to Azkaban. It would stop him from looking after Sirius and being there for him.<br/>
<br/>
“Was it wrong to leave?” Sirius asked after a moment of silence.<br/>
<br/>
“No!” James replied immediately. “Why would you say such a thing, Sirius?”<br/>
<br/>
“Because I left Regulus in a toxic household,”  Sirius responded, his voice was hoarse and his face rested on James’s shoulders. “I should have stayed for him, shouldn’t I?”<br/>
<br/>
“That household has never been half as toxic for your brother as it has been to you, Padfoot! You have had each and every right to leave! And as for Regulus, he will come around sooner or later. He’ll find out the truth on his own. You have done what you could for him.” James reassured Sirius, his voice a hundred times certain than his best friend’s.<br/>
<br/>
“I just—I can never return to that hellhole now that I have left,” whispered Sirius.<br/>
<em><br/>
</em>“That’s right! You should never return to that hellhole!” James said, still concealing his fury for the sake of his best friend. He had to remain strong for Sirius, so he tightened his grip on him.<br/>
<br/>
“You will live here with me! Mother and father will be delighted to have you as one of us. I will send owls to Moony and Wormtail to tell them to come as soon as they can. You will have us all beside you and there won’t be a room for more pain in your life.” James promised Sirius, still holding onto him.<br/>
<br/>
His embrace was full of warmth, making Sirius forget the coldness he had run as far as he could from. Sirius Black was loved and the fact that that love didn’t come from his parents didn’t matter. Blood had never bound him. Prongs, Moony and Wormtail were the people he cared for the most, along with their families. James’s comforting words had eased Sirius’s suffocation. Sirius closed his eyes. <br/>
<br/>
The two best friends remained in that position for what seemed like the longest of years, but when Sirius opened his eyes again, the warmth and love he clung onto were long gone.<br/>
<br/>
He was colder than he had ever been and James was nowhere to be found.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius’s vision was blurred by a new round of fresh tears. He was staring at a large rock with a name carved into it, a scream was stuck in his throat. His lungs had given out. The pain was more overwhelming than he thought it would ever be. It took full charge of him with ease, for Sirius didn’t dare to fight it. He allowed it to swallow his entire being. <em>He deserved it. </em>His mistake was unforgivable. Sirius waited to feel numb, but the numbness never came—all because the name he was staring at was tearing his soul into a thousand, unrepairable shreds.<br/>
<br/>
<em>Regulus Arcturus Black. </em><em><br/>
</em><em><br/>
</em><em>1961 </em>– <em>1979.</em><em><br/>
</em><em><br/>
</em>His body wasn’t anywhere to be found, so Sirius built his brother the closest thing to a grave he could ever have. Regulus died without redeeming himself; he died in utter fear and loneliness. He left this world to be remembered as a terrible follower of the Dark Lord and a coward in the eyes of those who fought for what was right.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius felt blame beyond imaginable. Maybe if he hadn’t abandoned Regulus on that night, he would have been able to persuade him with time—but it was too much for him to bear and he wasn’t sure whose fault it was. Yet he was sure that he played his own role in his brother’s misguidance and eventually his death. He shouldn’t have manipulated Regulus on the night he went to the Potter’s Manor. Sirius should have been honest with him. Maybe it could have prevented him from turning to the Dark side.<br/>
<br/>
Sirius thought the darkness had killed Regulus as he had once predicted. He was never going to know that his brother’s star had shone in the end as bright as his, if not more.<br/>
<br/>
The one thing he knew for sure was that Regulus had indeed scarred him for a lifetime.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed this one shot! Feedback will be much appreciated! ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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